Rain, and my life as a rock star

It has been raining pretty much non stop since Friday. Actually since last Tuesday, but it did stop briefly on Friday.

So yesterday was my annual "get in front of a bunch of people and give a presentation" day. I would rather have gone to the dentist. No, really, I would gladly have taken that choice. Even right until I was about to get up and give my little speech, I was ready to bail. I almost left the room many times.
I swear I will not be doing this ever again.

If I am to be a rock star I have to get over this fear. Or I just need to be a part of a rockin band, Like Joel Gion. I can be the tambourine/ maracas star.

There have been so many scenarios now going on in my head of how I could have done better, how my introduction ( non existant) or how I stood or how I should have read my notes or or or...
I can torture myself over this forever.
I can study successful lecturers, comedians, musicians and how the relate to their audience. How some people make you feel when seeing them in person. Eye contact. Where do people learn these things?
Even in a crowd of more than 1 other person I am handicapped. Where in my social development did I get short circuited?

However..
On my way home last evening I got stopped by the police in our tiny town. I had a feeling I knew what the problem was ( broken and half assed repaired tail light). The officer was about 20 years younger than me, and I had no nervousness. When the lights went on I was totally calm. When did this happen? I guess I am a grown up now
( I did not get a ticket)